Mini-Van Gives up Secrets

By Beth Duncan

It still makes me laugh when I think about it. I'm not really sure why. And I think about it almost every day. It's strange how some comments stick with you that way.

My mother recently came to our town for a visit. She and my dad live about 2 hours away, so they frequently come to visit their four Duncan grandchildren. I always do a little straightening around the house to prepare for their visits.

I don't deep clean, I just straighten. And most of the time, I run out of time. So, I end up having to cut corners. throw clean laundry in the closet or put piles of mail and schoolwork under the bed. It's OK because at least it looks good, and I can take care of those piles later.

My mother always makes me feel good. "Oh, Beth, your house looks so nice," she'll say. "Everything looks so fresh and clean." I even sense some admiration in her voice.
I say "Oh, thank you," nodding my head and smiling. I actually believe her and am feeling good about myself. Being a homemaker and mother is not all that hard, I think. Maybe I really am good - good meaning organized, neat and clean. I've temporarily forgotten about the hidden piles.

My mother is probably the least critical person I know. She has rarely said a derogatory or judgmental word to me or even in my presence, since I became an adult. Of course, when I was a child, she said what she had to in order to steer me in the right direction.

Watching her as an adult now though, I realize how unique she really is. She is always looking for the best in people and focusing on that, rather than pointing out the worst. Gossip and negativism are simply not a part of her life.

All the more reason I cannot forget her recent comment to me. I wasn't prepared for the fact that my mother wanted to take the little kids and I out for lunch during her recent visit. Because of the car seats, we were going to take the van, my van.

I don't usually have visitors in my van, so upkeep is not that important to me. The only regular cleaning I do is when I am pumping gas. During those few minutes, I pick up gum wrappers, Kleenex and other trash that I can reach from the front seat and throw them away.
So, my mother got into the van with us, and, all of the sudden, I noticed everything. Not only were there the gum wrappers and Kleenex, but there were empty Coke and water bottles, bills and magazines, Cheetos and cracker crumbs, crayons and wrinkled coloring pages, ballet shoes and a ballet skirt, jackets, barrettes, toys and a hairbrush. And there were other things.

"Oh, I'm sorry," I said. "It's a mess in here. I should've cleaned it up."
She said, "That's OK. It wouldn't be the Duncan van if it was clean."
I was shocked by her comment, and I guess it nagged at me for a little while. But, as I thought about it, I liked it. It was amusing to hear her say it. It added one of those little unexpected twists to life that make it more interesting.

And so this column ends with a smile.